One of the toughest moment of MY LIFE

This is not about a usual travel blog post, I just want to write about what i am going through right now. So Please bear with me and keep an open mind.

I'm on one of the hardest moment of my life right now because my cat Dil just gave birth today, her first  kitten died because he got stuck on his mother's  birth canal. I named him Bob jr. since he looks  like his dad.

I buried his remains outside the house

Luckily, the second kitten survived. At first my hope is about to fade, I thought that the kitten will die too because when the vet pulled out the kitten's sac he seems dead, he's pale and not breathing but the vet didn't gave up,  she kept on rubbing the new born kitten to help his lungs adjust to the environment and to provide heat to him, now he's with me and i am so  glad he's one hell of a fighter.

I wanted to name her Ely because means fighter 

As of now their mother is at the Vet because there's one more kitten left on her tummy and she will stay there until she gave birth to the last kitten and I am hoping that it won't require surgery. I will keep the newborn on formula milk until his mom is discharged from the vet.

Honestly, i don't know what i feel right now, i am happy because i was given a blessing and sad because God took the other one from me, i know He has His own purpose and i know Bob Jr. is already on God's side purring.

Right now to help Ely to his recovery, my boyfriend installed an incandescent bulb on their cage.

I think Ely is feeling cozy and peacefully sleeping on his bed..

I can't sleep because i am worried that if i fell asleep Ely might leave me and i don't want that to happen, I love him so much and i wanted to do everything just to save him.

Guys i need your prayers for my Cats fast recovery. Thank you!

UPDATE

I was able to get Dil at the vet and thank God she gave birth to the last kitten normal but sadly the little angel died, she's cute and she got the color of her mother, i was not able to took a picture of her because i immediately buried her outside my house. It's just sad because I'm not sure if the vet even tried to revive him just like the other vet did to Ely. Now i fed Dil and put her on the baby's box. I'm hoping that she'll start feeding her baby soon..

UPDATE

Dil disowned Ely that's why i'm am responsible in mothering her.  Ely's too small and underweight so i need to feed him every 2-4 hrs round the clock for 2 weeks. It's tiring but i can't be tired and let her fight alone in the battlefield, i need to help her as much as i can and give her a chance to enjoy life. I wanted her to live. 

Did  she stole your heart already? don't worry she also did that to me.

Ely died today .. :( (Oct. 15 2013)

I checked on him this morning to see if he's already hungry but what i saw was heartbreaking, he's no longer breathing! i rubbed his back but it was no good, I can't cry but when i broke the news to my boyfriend the tears started falling. I super love this tiny creature and i never regret any second i fought with him, I wish you didn't left us too soon.

Now he's buried together with her other 2 sibling outside the house, i hope they're all happy now.

That's a photo of us the day when he was born, she's cute.. I'll miss him..

Ely

I'm not sure if you could understand me but I'll still give it a try. I felt guilty, i think it's my fault that you died, i think I'm a terrible mom but i hope you know that i tried. From the moment you stepped into my life you did taught me that there are things in life that are worth fighting for and you're one of them. You also taught me that i can be a foster mom, yes it's hard but i never regret every single moment i fought for you, i would've give anything just to make you stay but i guess our God is also in love with you that's why  He's excited to get you, can't blame him, you're too cute not to love.. I hope you're now happy and say hi for me to your other  siblings.. I love you baby and I'll miss you big time..

Your Grandma